Eliora Amita

My Name is Eliora. I grew up in a christian household and the Lord found me when i was very young. Church had always been a part of my life and while i was too young to understand my relationship with Jesus, i had always had an understanding of the sacrifice on the cross. All was well until 2020 when the covid 19 pandemic practically shut down the world. I was in the 5th grade going to 6th at the time when i began to question my faith. The lack of in person church and human contact in general made me wonder if christianity was right for me. Even though i had grown, my understanding & my relationship with God was the same as it had been in my early childhood. The devil began to attack my mind and i started experimenting with my sexuality, identity, and lust. I started struggling with mental health and during this time i strayed away from my faith, i resented God for problems i had caused myself, i resented the world for not having the answers to who i thought i was, i resented my parents for not accepting me, i resented myself for being imperfect. My heart was filled with so much hatred and sin that it consumed me entirely. I was mean to those around me and even worse to myself. I fought with self harm and mental illness that i blamed on all the different things in my life. I had felt completely alone and lost all of the time. I began struggling with thoughts of suicide and worldly solution's only dug me deeper into my own harmful thoughts. I began identifying myself with homosexuality, i thought that putting a label on myself would fix me when it did the exact opposite. I remember being at a complete rock bottom, in the depths of self hatred, doubt, shame and fear when one day i remembered the worship song, “Oceans (where my feet may fail)” and remembered the lyric that said “and i will call upon your name, and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace”. In that moment i accepted that i cannot do it by myself and i was too tired to keep fighting, I felt the presence and love of Jesus overwhelmingly in that moment and completely broke down, i felt him like he was always there just waiting for me to surrender. I felt him call me home, call me his, and change me forever. From then on, i began attending church again and slowly growing my faith. God began lovingly revealing the things in my life that were not from him like homosexuality, self hate, disrespect and lust. He started doing a work in my heart. I killed the false identity i had been deceived by and started calling myself by who the creator said i was. I know now that the exact things that i thought explained me, only confused and disappointed me the longer i tried to force myself to be something my spirit and my savior knew i wasn’t. God made me as his daughter, perfectly in his image which is more than enough. I’ve been walking with Him and learning ever since and although im not perfect, i know im forgiven and more loved that i could have ever imagined. I got water baptized in may of 2024, and for the joy, peace, love, and story God gave me through my journey, i would do it all again. 

Psalms 30:5 “weeping may tarry through the night; but joy cometh in the morning.”