Augusta Downing

I grew up in a Christian household… I know, one of those. When I was in second grade, my momma was diagnosed with a rare blood cancer called multiple myeloma. In short, it is an incurable form of leukemia. I didn’t really understand what that meant because I was only eight years old, but I knew it meant my momma was hurting. That summer, we lived in Rochester, Minnesota while she received treatment at Mayo Clinic. I remember having the talk about my momma possibly dying, and I remember it so vividly. I was so confused and genuinely just sad seeing my momma in so much pain. All of my childhood memories are of my momma being sick.

God performed a true MIRACLE, and I didn’t even realize it until I understood more in the past few years. My momma’s cancer completely vanished for about a year, and the doctors couldn’t explain it. I am so grateful for that extra year I had with her. But the cancer did come back, stronger than ever.

When I was in fifth grade, my momma passed away. February 18, 2019 is a day I will never forget. I was standing in the lunch line at school when I got called to the office and was told my aunt was there to pick me up. I was so innocent that I thought we were going shopping or skipping school to do something fun. But my twin sister looked at me and said something to the degree of, “What about mom?”

My entire life changed at that moment.

The drive home was silent. When we pulled into the driveway, it was full of cars, and everyone my momma had ever known was there. I saw my pastor praying over my momma, and I didn’t understand why God would ever allow something like this to happen to anyone. My momma was in a coma. A few hours later, she passed away. I remember crying in my dad’s arms, and that was the first time I had ever seen him cry. At her funeral, I was talking with my aunt when the doors opened. I saw my momma’s body in the casket, and I couldn’t hold it together anymore. She was and still is my everything. My teachers and some classmates came to the funeral, and my entire grade had to write me a card. One card that stuck with me, and the only one, was from my friend Selah. She wrote that her family was praying for me. I remember thinking, What could prayer possibly do at a time like this?

I stopped going to church for about a year. I was angry. I was mad at God.

Before my momma passed away, she wrote me a letter. In it, she told me to have a strong faith even when I didn’t understand. So I went back to church for my mom, even though I didn’t want to. My momma’s faith was something I still can’t fully explain. She talked about God until the day she died, and she served Him faithfully through so much suffering.

Over time, I stopped living through my momma’s faith and began to develop my own. I formed a real relationship with the Lord, and He helped me find true healing. I am now bold in my faith, and I walk daily with Him.

It has been almost seven years since my momma passed away. Some days are still incredibly hard, and grief hits me out of nowhere. But now I don’t walk through it alone. I have God carrying me through it.

This experience has driven my passion to become an oncology nurse and, God willing, to do missionary work in the future. I want everyone to know the true joy that comes from the Lord because it is real, and it is amazing. 

John 16:22 "So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy."