Hope Bahire

My name is Hope and this is my testimony. I am raised in a Christian household so I knew God my whole life growing up. My dad was a pastor and I would go to church every Sunday, and because of this, I called myself a Christian. I claimed to love God yet | would go against his word daily. I was a liar, I was jealous, angry, disobedient, and I would constantly tear myself down. I only called His name when I wanted Him to do something for me, I would sin and say l'll ask for forgiveness later. I went to church on Sunday and wouldn't think of Him another day of the week. I took his love and mercy for granted. I would do things that made me uncomfortable just to fit in with everyone else. The enemy saw this and started attacking me with his lies. He told me I wasn't enough or worthy of love and I never will be. Soon I started listening to his lies. I would cry all the time asking to be enough for just one person. I felt so lost, empty, and alone, I even started thinking God had forgotten me and He didn't care anymore. I started losing energy and would fall asleep everywhere I was. On August 6, 2022 | got really sick and I was taken to the hospital. At first, I thought it wouldn't be anything big but I was way wrong. They told me I had fluid around my heart and I had to be taken to the children's hospital in Madison. Before I left, I remember my mom telling me to trust in Jesus, but that went in one ear and out the other because I was still listening to the enemy's lies. The whole time I was in the hospital my dad was there and he would pray for me every single day, but I didn't believe God wanted me to be ok, I believed he didn't care anymore. Then one day I felt so hopeless and it felt like life was just getting drained out of me so I asked my dad to pray for me and my brain was repeating the word believe so I did.

Then two days after this 1 got moved out of the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) and into the normal hospital rooms. My first morning in the normal hospital room, I woke up I saw a man standing in front of me. He was super tall but somehow He could fit in that tiny room. He was wearing a robe made of the shiniest golden color and His face was pure light, I couldn't see His full face but I saw that he was smiling at me and His arms were reaching out to me, His smile made me feel so safe it gave me goosebumps. I then rubbed my eyes to see him better but when I opened them again He wasn't there. That day my mom had come to visit so l immediately told my mom and dad that I saw Jesus, they asked me where He was and I described Him. We were all amazed. From that day I just kept getting better and better, I started eating again and walking without support. Soon I was able to go home. I was doing just fine when the devil tried attacking me again. I was rushed to the ER, they did some tests and gave me more medicine and we went back home. I went to my room and tried to fall asleep but I couldn't. I was really tired but for some reason, I just couldn't sleep, so for the first time since I got sick I prayed for myself, I asked God to give me peace and rest, then I closed my eyes but just believed He heard me. Then all of a sudden I physically felt this really heavy weight get lifted off me then I fell asleep untill the next morning with no problem which was rare for me at that time. The next morning I felt like a whole new different person. I got up quickly and I didn't get dizzy and I had some strength, enough to walk down the stairs by myself without support. I hurried and told my parents that I was healed and they believed and this time so did I.
A couple of days later I had this dream where I was in this really bright place. I looked around and I saw a little boy running to a Man in a white robe reaching out His arms, I looked closer and the little boy running was my dad, I started laughing because I'd never seen my dad that excited. He looked like my same old dad but he had the energy of a little kid. Then I looked up and saw my mom, my sister, and my brother. I also saw a little boy I'd never seen before, he looked a lot like my brother but way younger and he was really small. They were all hugging the man in white. He called me over but as I was running to him I woke up. I went and told my dad what I saw and he told me the next time I see Him I should ask, "who are you". That night I was at that place again and He was there again. I looked around for my family but this time only my dad was there. He was standing on the right side of the man in white smiling at me. I then remember what my dad said and I asked, who are you? Then in a loud, powerful, thunderous voice, I heard the words "I AM" then a huge flash of light came at me and I woke up immediately. I thought maybe I woke up before He could say His name so l waited three days but I didn't see him again so I just told my dad all I heard was I AM and He didn't finish. He looked shocked and told me to open my bible and read Exodus 3:13-14 which reads, " Then Moses said to God, indeed when I come to the children in Israel what shall I say to them? " And God said to Moses I AM who I AM and He said " Thus you shall say to them I AM say sent me to you. I leamed I AM is, the name of God.

I thought wow I heard and saw God. But then I started asking myself why God would show Himself to me. Then I remembered what Amber had taught us on the mystery trip. She said God wanted a personal relationship with each one of us. After that I started reading my bible more and more until it became a habit because I want that relationship so bad. I learned things about God I never knew, I learned that I didn't have to work for His love and He will never forsake me, I am worthy in His eyes because of the price Jesus paid for me, no one can ever say I'm guilty because that grave is empty.
God loved me from the very beginning and He loved me enough not to leave me the way I was. He gave me more than I asked for, I asked to be enough and He did that but He also gave me love, peace, joy, hope, and true happiness. I seek to hear the voice of God more and more by the day. I gave up trying to be like the world because, when I'm at my lowest it's God who'll be there, when I'm crying, it's God who'll comfort me, when I'm scared and alone it's God who'll be there to shield me. Not the world. I know God's plan for me is more than this world could ever offer. I can now proudly call myself a true Christian now because I seek to be more like Christ than anything else, and it's not because of what the church said or what anybody said. It's because when I was at my lowest He was there. I believe Christ did die for me on that cross, I accepted Jesus as my personal savior, and got baptized August 20,2023. I thank God today for the suffering I went through because it's really built my faith in ways I could've never imagined. Romans 8:18. "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us"